a non-poker post: wedding crashers

If you know what "ear muffs," "beautiful babies" or "You're so money" mean, go see Wedding Crashers.
Fans of Old School and Swingers will be happy to see Vince Vaugn back in Double Down Trent mode.
This is a funny, funny movie, especially for the first hour or so. It does lose steam towards the end, but there are still some good payoffs in the final scenes, and the first part is so funny it more than makes up for any shortfall later.
There is some nudity, and a lot of juvenile, crude sex gags and jokes. That's part of what makes it so funny. I saw it with my wife and her best friend, and both of them were cracking up, so most of the content won't offend your average woman. It is a 'guy movie' in the best sense (though the second part veers dangerously close to chick-flick with the romance of Owen Wilson's character), but one that most women will also really enjoy.

In order to tie this post into poker in some way, at one point Vaugn's character uses the expression, "I'm going to put my cards on the table."
This phrase has entered the vernacular to mean, I'm going to be completely honest.
Of course, the origin is from poker, meaning, 'show my hand' or reveal what I'm holding.

flushed!

In two recent SNGs, I've been flushed out when the 4th card of the suit hits the board.
It's never pretty, but it's part of poker.

With pocket 9s on the button, the blinds were 10/20. I called a raiser who made it 60 to go, then the pot was re-raised by the small blind who made it 200. The inital raiser called, as did I.

The flop was A, 9, 3, all diamonds, giving me middle set on an ugly board. The small blind made a small bet, the limper called, as did I. The turn was a 6, not a diamond; the action was checked to me, and I bet the pot. The small blind re-raised (putting me all in), and the middle position player called, as did I.

I was worried about slow-played diamonds, but felt the only hand the small blind could have to play that way would have been AK suited in diamonds, and the ace was on the board. I felt that if he had a set of aces, he would have been more aggressive on the flop and also bet out the turn to deny any player with a rogue diamond a free draw. Even if my hand wasn't the best, I figured I had 10 outs for a full house to win. As it turned out, my read was perfect, but the poker gods didn't cooperate.

The hands were turned up; the small blind held QQ, with the Q of diamonds; the other player had 55. So, unless a diamond or queen hit, I would take down a monster pot and be in a great chip position to win the tournament.

Of course, diamond on the river, and I busted out in 8th place (I was ahead of the other player in chips prior to the start of the hand).

In another SNG, I had AK in the small blind. A middle position player made it 80 to go (blinds were 10/20), and I called the raise; we were heads-up.
The flop came K, rag, rag, with two spades. I checked, he bet, and I raised the pot. He called. The turn was a spade. I checked, he made a bet about 1/2 the size of the pot; I re-raised him all-in -- about another 600 chips (he had about 50 chips more than me). He called, showed AK, but with the ace of spades, setting up a monster re-draw, which of course, hit the river, knocking me out.

In the second instance, I definitely overplayed my AK, but I hate my opponent's call on both the turn and the river; the chances that he's facing a set or two pair are too great to make calling a good play. But that's poker.

JJ v. AQs

In a $20 SNG on Paradise, on the first hand of heads-up action, I was dealt JJ.
My opponent raised, I put him all-in and he called.
The cards were turned up and he showed AQ, suited in hearts.
So, I was the favorite, but it was a coin-flip.
I had him covered in chips, so it wouldn't end my tournament.
Of course, the flop came with both an ace and a queen; a queen hit the turn, and then an ace hit the river, just to put a little extra salt in the wound.
On the next hand, I was dealt A7o, and with a very short stack, went all-in.
He called, showed pocket 6s, I didn't improve, and I took home the 2nd place prize money.
I've been running pretty hot in the SNGs lately (less hot in the larger field tournaments), so it's tough to complain, but since the first place money is double the profit* of the second place money, it stinks to lose with JJ when you're heads-up!

* In a $20+2, the prize pool is:
1st: $100 (net $78)
2nd: $60 (net $38)
3rd: $40 (net $18)

So it's actually more than twice as good to win 1st over 2nd and 2nd over 3rd.

poker lingo

I love some of the lingo associated with poker. Here are a few heard round the table recently:

Devil got VD: a full house, sixes ('mark of the beast') full of threes ('crabs')

Ace Magnets: pocket kings (since an ace seems to flop whenever you hold cowboys)

Berry Patch: a very soft game.

Huey, Dewey & Louis: a set of twos ('three ducks')

Pickleman's Hand: a seven with a five ('57' as in Heinz 57 Varieties)

Thiry Miles of Railroad: three tens


I'll post some more in a future post.

aces aces aces

in a $30 buy-in SNG, it was down to three of us, and I found AA in the big blind.
I was the short-stack with about 2,000; the chip leader was sitting on 5K in chips.
Both players called, I went all-in, and only the limper -- and chip leader -- called.
He flipped up AJ, suited in clubs.
The flop came 3, 5, J, and I was celebrating, until a 4 and a deuce came on the turn and river, splitting the pot.
I went on to take 3rd. That was the pivotal hand in the tournament.
Oh well. I'll take aces anytime.

ouch! first two hands of a tourny

I love playing SNGs, and have been making nice money playing them.
But I also like the larger tournaments and the big potential payouts.

I logged into a $5 tournament on Paradise.
First hand, I was thrilled to see JJ on the button. 3 players limped for 20, I raised to 85. The blinds folded, as did one limper and three of us took the flop, Q, 7, 2, with two hearts. Action checked to me, I bet 1/2 the pot, and one player called. I did not hold the jack of hearts.
There was now 600 in the pot.
The turn was a heart; he bet 150. I made a crying (probably bad) call.
The river was a blank, he bet 200, I called (not a great call, that's for sure), and he showed J9, suited in hearts for the flush.

Next hand, I am the cutoff. I still have just over 900 chips from my starting stack of 1500, and am dealt Kings. Two limpers, and I raise to 85. The big blind re-raises to 170 (doubling my bet), everyone folds, and the action is on me. I go all-in. My thinking: I wouldn't mind picking up this pot right now, and if he calls, I am a huge favorite over any hand but pocket rockets.
He called and showed 33.
The flop was J, 6, 4.
The turn was a 7.
He rivered a 5 to make a straight and knock me out.

It's poker. I was dealt two great starting hands -- on the first two hands of the tournament -- and lost them both. Both were huge pre-flop favorites. The first hand I could have played better after the flop; the second, well, it happens. Oh well.

can't lose for winning

I don't recommend trying this. But, I thought it was funny.
I logged into a $20 sit-n-go. I had about 90 minutes to play, which is usually more than enough.
I barely paid attention during the 5/10 round, but the game was moving a little more slowly than usual.
Then, in the 10/20 round, one player's connection got very bad. He was using the full time allotment on every hand. EVERY hand, whether he was raising, folding, or calling.
I got involved in a couple of pots, and got my stack up to 1250 (from 1000). One player busted out.
But, the game was moving at a snail's pace. So I clicked 'post & fold' just before posting my 15/30 blinds and took my dog for a walk, hoping the slow player would bust or get a better connection. No luck. When I returned, we were still in the 30/60 round, and only one additional player had busted. And, the slow guy was still in.

Everyone was letting him know that he was making the game un-fun, but to no avail.

But, I had a time constraint (a real issue for a SNG). Usually, 90 minutes is more than enough, but it had been over an hour, and we weren't past 30/60 blinds yet. This was going to take forever. And I had to go.

So, on my first hand back from walking the dog, under-the-gun for the 50/100 blinds, I went all-in. Since I had been away (and auto-folding the past 10 or so hands), no one called.

The next hand, in the big blind, I again went all-in, after one player limped and another completed from the small blind. They both folded.

The next hand, with JT, I went all-in in the small blind after 2 limpers called; they folded, as did the big blind. Three all-ins, three uncontested pots.

One of the other players asked, 'Getting frisky?' To which I replied: "I have to go; it's all in time."

The next hand, on the button, I was all-in again after one player limped; both blinds folded, the limper called, and was busted out when my ace-high (A6o) beat his suited KJ.

The next hand, I was all-in again, though was unable to outrun my opponents ace, ten, knocking me back to about 600 in chips.

Next hand, all-in again, and my pocket 7s held up, doubling me up.

Next hand, all-in again, and ace-high held up, knocking out another player.

So, I went all-in seven times in a row, winning all but one, and knocking out two players.

But, I wasn't done, since 'slow connection' guy was still in the game, still making it move unbearably slow when he was in a hand. And, I still had someplace I needed to be.

So, with 9,2 offsuit, I was all-in on the button, and 'slow connection' called me with A,7 offsuit.

I spiked a 9 on the flop, the turn was a blank, and a 9 hit the river, knocking him out.

WAIT! Time to re-adjust. Now, I was the overwhelming chip leader with close to 4,000 in chips, slow guy was busted out, and there were only 4 of us left. So, I readjusted, started playing with some discretion, and took first place.

From trying to lose to winning the first place money - that's a turnaround!

I guess the moral of the story, if there has to be a moral, is that you should always make sure to budget enough time to finish any tournament you enter. But, it was fun!

good advice is never outdated

A friend tipped me to REMINICENCES OF A STOCK OPERATOR, originally published in 1923. He told me that everything in the book related to the poker table as well as to the stock market.
I have to agree with him, and highly recommend checking this one out if you get a chance.

Wise words are never outdated, like this from page 134:
"It is the way a man looks at things that makes or loses money for him in he speculative markets [poker tables].... The professional concerns himself with doing the right thing rather than with making money, knowing that profit takes care of itself if the other things are attended to.... It gets to be an instinct to play for position."

In other words, make the right play, and don't worry about short term results, and the profit will follow.

One turn of phrase that I particularly enjoyed in the book is this (page 272):
"His name was as familiar to the readers of the metropolitan press as though he had been sued for breach of promise by a sixteen-year-old manicurist possessing a five-thousand-dollar mink coat and one hundred and thirty-two letters from the defendant."

If you get a chance to pick up REMINISCENCES OF A STOCK OPERATOR by Edwin Lefevre, it's worth the time.